HYDERABAD HUMOUR

Hyderabad Mean time: + 1 hour IST.. Never go for a function on time. You will be the only person present.




Dislocation turn :If you need to take a right turn, never show your hand to the right. The nut behind you will zoom ahead and dislocate your hand.





Mad crossing :At Zebra crossings, make signs like a mad man or a Kung-fu posture. Only then will the vehicle stop for you to cross.



Backbiting: If the signal is red and you are waiting for it to turn green, you are sure to hear the guy from the back yelling,"Chal aagey nikal" nine out of ten times.He may even call you "Howla" which is not a Mexican word but means "mad"





Middle stop :If you need to catch a bus, never wait at the Bus stop. Stand in the middle of the road-that's where the bus stops.



Meter pressure: When traveling by Auto, do not keep an eye on the meter. Its frequent abnormal jumping will fluctuate your blood pressure.





Fingering :When you are in an Irani hotel, don't look at the bearer bringing you water to drink. Three of his fingers will be deep inside the glass and will look like earthworms.



Walkman: Always walk on the road. Chances are that on the footpath you will fall into a ditch and encounter street pissers.



Wavelength :If the cleaner in a Lorry is waving his hands to the left, beware, it's not for the lorry to turn. The person is spreading his limbs for some arthritis problem.





Horn please :The excessive use of vehicle horns is due to a medical condition calles"Hornitis".Under this symptom ,a person is forced to press the horn every ten seconds. If you are new to Hyderabad,you are sure to develop this symptom.



Ghutkafying :While on the road,watch out for red liquid spraying out from all directions.It's the Gutkha brigade painting the town red.



Mass following: In case you notice a crowd in some areas and enquire about the problem,the stock answer you will get is"Kya hai ki,sab dekhrey,mein bhe dheykroo".



Flying over :When you are driving on a flyover, don't be surprised if the guy in front takes a sudden U-turn and you end up flying over.



Word perfect: On your visit to the local mechanic, you may hear the following terms-Kelutch, espring, nutta, bolta, forak, pelug, horan, geear, berake.figure it out….